Saturday, March 06, 2004

Returning home

We still need your toy and school supply donations. Don't forget about us.

I am sitting in the kitchen gazing out through the window watching large snowflakes gently falling, beads of moisture dripping from the tree branches and the neighborhood all covered in several feet of white powder. I see my dog's empty cage covered with snow, causing me to reflect back on a time gone by when my dog was alive. I remember playful times when we used to run around the yard together. I miss the past but so grateful for the present, with great aspirations for the future. But, I miss Jasmine, my dog, too.

It is great to be home with the towering majestic Rocky Mountains surrounding the city, the deep piles of white snow throughout the valley, the cheerful faces of friends and family, the home cooked meals, the variety of choices at near by restaurants, the freedom to sleep in late in a full-sized queen bed, eating popcorn in a full-sized movie theater, long hot showers, the feel of soft carpet on my feet, music playing everywhere I go, houses without fences and traveling around without the fear of being attacked.

I realize the present is but a fleeting moment which I cherish, but can't hold on to, for within a matter of seconds it has also become the past, never to be relived. We can only celebrate the moment, with hope that the future will be even better. Time brings change, as with each lonely snow flake landing on several feet of snow to become part of a larger mass, soon it will melt becoming runoff into the Great Salt Lake, never to be a snowflake again.

I arrived home one week ago today and I feel really bad that I haven't been able to send out a journal entry to all of you who have been tracking my journey. As you can imagine, I have been really busy trying to catch up on all the things that have been waiting for my return. My family did a great job of taking care of things while I was gone, but some things just needed to be handled by me. I have also been spending some time with my ailing Dad. Plus, each family member is demanding some personal time with me to discuss what has been going on. It is nice to know I have been missed and still needed.

Going Back To Iraq

The joy of being home was short lived when I received a call informing me that I will be returning to Iraq on Wednesday, in order to finish a few matters of business. It looks like I will be there in Baghdad for about a month or so, just not sure which part of the city I will be in or what I will be doing.

I am ok in going back, not merely because I have no other choice, but because I know the course of my life is in the master's hands and under his all knowing watchful eye. I am sure there must be a reason for this return, something new behind an unopened door, some unknown, unforeseen new experience awaiting my arrival.

I am the only one returning to Iraq, so this trip will be very different from the past one, but perhaps just as rewarding. At least I am promised it will be short, but not necessarily sweet. To be honest, I have my moments when the thought of returning with the military to Iraq is difficult to swallow, especially now that I am just readjusting to the comforts of life here in America.

My attitudes

America is a great place, which I love. There is so much to enjoy and so much to miss. If only all of our eyes could be opened to see the abundance of blessings which we enjoy in this great country. To see and humbly appreciate the extent to which we have been blessed with so much in comparison to others in this world. As we, at times, blindly live our daily lives, there is so much that we take for granted, only wishing that we had more, seeing only what we don't have instead of appreciating what we already have.

My need for more material things has changed dramatically, now only hoping for my basic essentials, focusing more on appreciating daily blessings and moments of happiness. I aspire to nothing, but hoping to carry on with what I have started in Operation Give, to feel fulfilled in all that I do, to add value to life through serving others, to magnify my inner self, and to hope for change that will bring happiness and peace in this world of greed, anger and hatred.

Flying into Salt Lake

My return flight home was very memorable, further enhancing the value of this trip to Iraq. As our three C-135s touched down in Salt Lake City, we could hear the cheers from the throng of people waiting inside the air guard hanger. I had to hold back the tears of joy as I looked out the one window in the plane that I could get to and saw the hundreds of people yelling and screaming. I was so appreciative of their support and expression of appreciation. I can't put into words the feelings of joy that I felt at that moment, knowing that we were home indeed, back among loved ones.

As I walked down the tarmac towards the cheering crowd, a small group of people holding a poster and a flag came running in my direction screaming "Wiggles, Wiggles." My family, my cousin Steve, and a few good friends had broken past the barriers and were running down the tarmac towards me. It was a great to embrace my family members, especially my son Michael who has been living in Russia for the past two years on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I was humbled by the interest the news media had in Chief Wiggles and Operation Give. More than anything, it was the numerous close friends and relatives who had come out to welcome us back. I was so appreciative of their expression of love and support for what we had all gone through over this last year. It was a great moment, permanently burning into my consciousness the feelings of pride and joy for having this opportunity to serve the great people of this country. 

Since arriving home, there have been a few live interviews on a couple of radio stations with a ton of questions regarding the efforts of Operation Give and my mission in Iraq. I have a few speaking engagements scheduled before I leave again, which I am really looking forward to. If any of you have a need for someone like me to speak I would be more than happy to participate. I have a real passion for speaking regarding the things I have been through over the last year and for discussing how much we were able to accomplish with Operation Give.

Our media is not so great

Upon returning to my real life here in the states, for some reason I now find TV very boring and superficial. I am bored with the things we consider to be entertainment and find most programming to be meaningless and without any real redeeming value. Are we just being fed a constant stream of meaningless garbage which merely promotes negative values and mindless interaction? I don't know what happened, but I am now appalled at the things discussed on TV in the name of "news." I find many programs disgusting and meaningless.

I was alarmed by the news of the additional bombings that have taken place this week in Iraq, targeting the Shiite's religious gatherings. I was not surprised by the anti-American Iraqi reaction to this apparently indiscriminate killing of citizens. I am sure many of you have a hard time understanding this type of mentality that blames and expresses anger towards the US for an act which we definitely had nothing to do with.

Over the course of the last year living in Iraq and interacting with the Iraqi people on a daily basis, I have formulated my own opinions regarding the mentality and mind set of these people. It is a very complicated situation with many variables that have had an impact on their way of thinking and the way in which they react and draw conclusions.  They definitely have a different way of thinking, which is neither right nor wrong, just different.

Why do they blame the USA?

I am going to attempt to put words to further define the Iraqi mentality, but in doing so I hope none of you will be offended by this meager attempt. I don't mean to insult anyone by making this endeavor, only to try to put words to clarify what I have concluded. This is also just my own interpretation based on the individuals that I have come in contact with. By no means is this all inclusive but merely my perception. I'm doing this because the question above was asked of me and in no way am I trying to stereotype them.

It appears that after having been controlled and brain washed in every way by Saddam Hussein for the past 30 years, not to speak of the years previous to that, the Iraqi people have a tendency to blame those in charge for anything and everything that happens. They seem to need to blame someone or hold someone other than themselves responsible for the events occurring in their life. At times they say "In Shalla" to everything, as if to hold God totally responsible for what happens in their life, everything being according to God's will. All of this to say they have no control and are not responsible for the events of their life.

Their deductive reasoning skills seem to be influenced and negatively affected by what they appear to see on the surface and by the rumors which get spread about every event. The rumor mill churns out rumors, which are accepted at face value, believed, and spread. Without knowing the underlying facts, they draw conclusions about what is happening based on the irrational gossip being spread.

They seem to concentrate on the present, on the day to day, forgetting what happened in the past. They focus on the way things are for the moment and who is in charge of taking care of those things for the moment. The difficulties of the past are easily forgotten, replaced by thoughts of the way things are right now.

They tend to be very emotional people, their reasoning and interpretive skills tied directly to their emotions. These emotions tend to be negative, without much hope, and with very little positive ideas regarding what might happen in the future. I am sure that because of their past plight under the rule of Saddam that many of them have taken on a fatalistic, defeatist attitude.

Even right after the war when utilities were down, many of the citizens were calling for the return of Saddam, claiming that at least under his rule they had electricity and water. To think like this would appear to be totally ludicrous, if one was to recall all the suffering and torturing that went on before and if one could imagine what life might be like in the near future with all the possibilities.

It appears that they have quickly forgotten the times when Saddam favored the Sunnis and discriminated against the Shiites. Under Saddam's rule they did not have the freedom to say what ever they thought, or to meet in large groups whenever they wanted, or to protest or demonstrate against who is in charge.

They speak out against us now because they can. They blame us now because we are in charge. They expect us to take care of them and prevent such open acts of aggression from happening. They have to blame someone. They have to point their finger at someone, holding anyone outside of God responsible, because surely God wouldn't allow such a terrible thing to happen.

For the most part, I found them to be somewhat emotionally immature by our standards; many times feeling like I was dealing with teenagers. They tend to be pessimistic, and overall negative. I am sure their past has influenced their way of thinking, not giving them much hope for the future. Their past has probably completely impacted their ability to be positive and optimistic. 

Well that is my take on things. I did meet many people who were not like this, but for the most part these tendencies existed in most of the people I debriefed.

Also, that is not to say that many of us don't have the same tendencies or propensity to be negative, with an inclination to blame others for our own mishaps.

That is it for now.
Have a good day.

Chief Wiggles
Doing it the Wiggle Way

Keep those toys and school supplies coming.