Wednesday, March 10, 2004

There must be a reason for going back

With the sound of the airplane engines gently humming in the background, lulling the passengers to sleep, I sit restlessly in my airplane seat trying to capture the full essence of my mixed emotions as I return to Baghdad. I am trying to find the words to explain my inner feelings but find myself writing and rewriting the words over and over again.

I was barely home long enough to put a dent in solving the many problems and issues that have been awaiting my return, only to have everything put back on hold as I am forced to leave for an undetermined period of time. I was told that I will probably be gone for another month or so in order to take care of some unfinished business.  I am hoping that at some point in the near future I will be allowed to discuss the nature of the events that now take me back.

I was home just long enough to discover how much I am needed at home by so many people, both family and friends. It isn't that I am indispensable, but that I know I can make a difference in the lives of those around me. I see people everywhere who are in need of assistance, in need of someone to talk to, someone to spend time with, or some to lend a listening ear.

Even so, I know for a fact that I must have some unfinished business in Iraq. Based on the way things have gone so far on this magical excursion, something new to learn, or some additional experience must be awaiting my return. This magical mystery tour is not over yet, for my mission in Iraq has not been completed. There is a divinely inspired purpose for my return, one not yet visible by my minds eye.

Although I am unaware of the potential benefits of this trip to myself or others, my mind and heart is open for the possibilities of what might be placed in my path. I have not forgotten  the events that have transpired during this last year, the lessons learned still fresh in my mind, being constantly cognizant of the things that can and will be placed in my path if I will but forget myself.

I can only hope that I have sufficiently prepared myself for what lies ahead. I am at this moment refocusing my mind so that I might be an efficient tool in the master's hands to perhaps assist in accomplishing the Lord's will. As I ponder on these words, miraculously at this moment I can hear the words of the computer game behind me declare, "I surrender my will". Just another spiritual wind chime sounding off to remind me of who is in charge of my journey.

I am now totally settled into the idea that I will be going back for a period of time, not sure about any of the specifics, such as where-when and how, but ok with this stage of my life. I am enjoying the music channels on Delta Airline, along with the TV channels with a monitor on the back of each and every chair. Pretty soon, I have just been told, a delicious hot meal will be served, so I am full of anticipation for that tasty delight. (Are you kidding?). I am thinking about the eight hour layover in Amsterdam, hoping to perhaps leave the airport for a little bit to grab a bite to eat and check out the scenery.

What?

But, then the totally unexpected happens, further witnessing to me how this miraculous journey just refuses to be over. If I might, let me set the stage for you. I left Salt Lake City this morning at around 1030 heading for Atlanta. I then transferred planes to head for Amsterdam. I had a two hour layover in Atlanta and even after we boarded the plane we had a 30 minute delay due to some paperwork problems. Ok so here I am about 30 minutes after liftoff, out over the Atlantic, one of the flight attendants comes down the isle with a faxed message from my Colonel, informing me that my mission orders have been changed, that I am not to go on to Kuwait city and that I am to turn around and go back home.

I am filled with wonderment regarding what possibly could have happened to bring about this sudden change of events. Even before leaving Iraq the first time, I was concerned about having to come back after my emergency leave was over. My 365 days boots on the ground are up and I basically returned with my unit, not sure if I would have to return, but hoping that a decision would be made prior to doing so. Since my arrival I have been working with my leaders to initiate some kind of a conclusion to this whole matter.

There have also been some extenuating circumstances requiring a decision to be made at a much higher level to bring it to fruition. My leaders in my direct chain of command and the two-star Adjutant General for the state of Utah have all been working to influence the timeliness of this action to perhaps forego leaving to go back. So it is quite ironic that the message would come now that I am on my way up at 32,000 feet.

 It will be interesting to call once I get to Amsterdam to find out what is happening.

I actually received two faxed messages on the plane that day, one from my cousin Steve, who works for Northwest Airlines, and the other from my commander. The first one came informing me to call my cousin the minute I get to Amsterdam, so as you might imagine I was quite alarmed, thinking that perhaps my Dad had passed away or something. Fortunately, the second message came within minutes of the first informing me to get off in Amsterdam.

Upon arriving in Amsterdam I was unable to get a seat on a return flight, so I found a room at the airport Hilton, knowing that I wouldn't be able to leave until the next day. I felt bad of course about being stuck in Amsterdam for a day. Not!

Not having slept for more than an hour on the plane, I was totally wasted after my 12 hour plan ride. After catching a quick power nap in my hotel room, I decided to venture out into the city to find out what Amsterdam was really like, having never been there before.

I loved it. I found it very clean, quiet at times, and very unlike many other major cities I have been in the world, with all its old architecture, the water canals, and the many bicycles buzzing around the city. It was very cozy and quaint, with plenty of friendly people who spoke English fluently. I had a great one day trip, with many memorable moments and a plethora of cuisine choices.

I was amazed at the number of people I met from other countries, other nationalities, a real mixture of people from all over the world.

Upon calling from my hotel room in Amsterdam I discovered that the decision was made to have me attached to my unit in SLC, until such time that they determine if I am needed back in theater. This was definitely music to my ears and an answer to many prayers. Miracles continue to happen as I put my life in the Lord's hands and follow his will.

The next day when I attempted to leave Amsterdam with my M-16 in a case, I ran into a few minor problems, which caused me to spend an hour or so in the airport police station, as they tried to figure out what to do with me. In the end things worked out and I was allowed to leave with my weapon in hand. For a few moments there it was touch and go, as I felt as if they were going to charge me for having such a weapon, perhaps even confiscating it or locking me up for a while. But, as always my life is in good hands, as I boarded the plane bound back for the USA.

Due to the hassles I had encountered with the Airport police, the United Airlines counter help felt sorry for me and upgraded my ticket to business class, which turned out to be quite a treat. The chairs were huge, the room was spacious, the food and drinks were non-stop, and the individual movies and screen in my chair were awesome. For the next 9 hours or so I was in airplane heaven.

The good luck fairy strikes again

I had to pass through Washington D.C. to clear customs, which was a joy, given the fact that I was still toting around my M-16. This alone caused a great amount of delay in my travels, but well worth it, considering that I was headed back home again.

I was waiting in line to re-board the plane, now headed for L.A, the next leg of my journey, when I noticed a young lady with a new born baby. She was struggling with all of her luggage, the crowds of people caught up in their own world pushing ahead of her, the baby cart, and her newborn who was crying at this point.

I walked over to her to see if I couldn't be of some help in getting the baby and her on the plane, who up until this point had been totally ignored by the flight attendant manning the entrance to the plane. With my carryon bags on my back, I gently grabbed the baby in my arms, like I did so many times before in my life with my own 4 kids, and with a gentle bounce in my step I proceeded down the isle to the rear of the aircraft where both of our seats were. I got the baby settled down, the mom got herself situated and her luggage stowed, and she gave me that look of complete appreciation for the small gesture of help I had offered. I was so happy to be the one to notice her moment of need.

Time together

I wasn't the one to book my flight or choose the course of my return trip, but it couldn't have worked out any better if I had. Unbeknownst to me, in order to get to Salt Lake City, Utah, I had to go from Washington D.C. to L.A. to SLC and I was going to have to spend the night in L.A. due to my late arrival time.

Now for those of you that don't know, my oldest son Daniel just happens to be going to school in L.A. at UC Irvine, whom I haven't seen for over a year. This short unexpected layover was just one more wonderful blessing added to the heap of blessings I have already partaken of.  I was going to be able to see him on my way home. What a great treat, one I have been hoping for some time, knowing that he would not be able to travel to Salt Lake in the middle of his schools quarter.

When I arrived in LAX, there he was waiting to pick me up for a quick evening together out on the town. We went down by the ocean to partake of some really fresh and delicious seafood, with plenty of French bread with real butter, and lots of good conversation. We had a great time as we caught each other up on all the things that have transpired over the last year. Both of us had plenty to talk about as you might imagine, fully interested in what each had been dealing with and the lessons learned from a mutually very busy year.

What a great son, in whom I am so proud.

The next day he picked me up so that we might hit one of my favorite Korean restaurants in Korean Town, down town L.A. I had intentionally missed breakfast, choosing to instead catch up on some lost sleep from the past few days. So I was really ready to pig out on lunch, excited to order all my favorite dishes, which I had been deprived of over the past year. I am sure my enjoyment over the food was heard by all the other patrons, as I surely made grunting and slurping noises while I ate.

Abundance

While dining at a popular restaurant along the LA coast with my son, several things came to mind as I watched intently at the patrons, who were all busy eating and socializing. I know that life goes on for most Americans while soldiers are off in a distant land putting their lives on the line. Most citizens of this great country hardly miss a beat in their daily lives, as they continue to be caught up in a whirlwind of capitalism, materialism, and commercialization of life. 

I saw them with their fancy cars, their name brand clothes, their vain and selfish efforts to look their best, with the latest in hair styles, facials, breast jobs, designer nails, tattoos, body jewelry and piercings. I hesitate to speak for the fear of seeming judgmental but superficially it appears they have little awareness regarding what is really going on in the world and what is really at stake. I am sure it is not totally the case, but it seems for the most part that people go on with their self serving life styles with little more than a limited awareness that another nameless soldier was killed today.

I am struck at the sheer abundance we selfishly enjoy, the excess we possess, and the flaunting of wealth in the face of so much poverty in the world. We as a whole consume way beyond our needs, perhaps to the point that many have forgotten what it is like to go without, to really sacrifice something for someone else, as we continue to focus our attention on our individual selfish pursuits.

The media does little to really inform the general populace about the reality of the situation in Iraq, promoting nothing more than a body count of the dead. So what can I expect out of people that have been misinformed and are spoon fed bits and pieces of misconstrued information regarding the real need of the people of Iraq and how much good is really being done by the American soldiers, who continue to perform spontaneous and random acts of kindness way beyond their job descriptions.

When are they going to enlighten us and inform us with any in-depth reporting on the majority of the people of Iraq, who are overjoyed with our presence, who are now relishing in the thoughts of their newly acquired freedom, who welcome us with open arms, and daily express nothing but love and appreciation for what we as Americans have done for them. When is that story going to be told?

When are we going to put politics aside to provide accurate reporting on how the majority of Iraqis really feel? The hundreds of people that I encountered who could not say enough regarding the atrocities of Saddam Hussein and the great blessings of freedom they now enjoy without him, as they now with hope look forward to the future, out from under the oppressing heavy hand of the Baghdad Butcher, Saddam, who killed an estimated 1,000 people a day (recently reported by the History Channel).

When is any one going to tell the story of how so many Iraqis took me into their homes to lavish me with gifts and share the abundance of their blessings with feasts of food?

Where is the story of so many of you who have donated and contributed time and money to share things in need with the Iraqi people and to take care of our own service men and women in need?

So many are consumed by their selfish political aspirations, complaining and finding fault with the current administration, that they have forgotten the joy that comes from selfless acts of sharing the abundance we have been blessed with the less fortunate of the world.

9-11

That tragic day, although sad, was a wake up call for many of us to the realities of the hate filled world we live in. It was a very sad page in American history, which cannot be ignored and is far from being over. That event marked the beginning of perhaps other tragic events to come if we continue to ignore the signs of the times by going on with our daily lives as if nothing had happened, feeling perhaps it is someone else's fight.

On the other hand, perhaps for many that day changed our lives as we committed to take up the fight against terrorism and do something to positively influence the collective group we call our world family, which includes the Iraqi people, whom I just helped for the past year. You nay-Sayers can take nothing away from all the good that was accomplished during that time.

President Bush's ad campaign is just to remind us as a nation of what we have gone through and what we are up against in the fight against terrorism. We must be wiling to stand up against our enemies and the enemies of others in our world family, to protect and secure the freedom of all mankind. We must never forget the price that was paid that day by so many, hopefully motivating us to do our part in preventing such acts of violence in the future. I do believe the world is now a safer place, as many of our enemies have been killed or captured. Saddam was definitely one such enemy.

I didn't know how much I could do until I started to try.

 Let the Lord lead the way, as we pursue those that would want to destroy our freedoms and subject us to their bondage in the form of chains of fear or trepidation. The world is our home, all mankind with the same inalienable right to be free.

Answers to frequently asked questions

I recently had the opportunity to speak at a Rotary club meeting at the Marriott Hotel here in Salt Lake City, with the Adjutant General of the Utah National Guard. At the end of my speech, during a question and answer period, I was asked several questions. I will summarize my answers in the following short remarks for those of you who are interested.

Yes, we are making great strides in improving the situation in Iraq. There is great progress being made in every area. There are many schools being rebuild, refurbished, many roads and buildings constructed, the old dilapidated infrastructure is being rebuilt, and the standard of living is improving.

It is becoming more secure, but yes we still have small groups of enemies out to thwart our efforts every step of the way.

The people are wonderful and openly express their love and appreciation for what we have done. Yes, it was and is worth it. We did free a whole nation of people, who were in bondage to a tyrant and this will be a critical turning point in the history of that region of the world to bring them into a free world economy.

Yes, we have made great strides in capturing or killing known enemies to include many terrorists, belonging to Al Qaeda.

I recently went to the annual prayer breakfast in the state of Utah, where Steve Young, the famous 49er football quarterback, spoke. He mentioned one thing that stood out in my mind regarding making mistakes. When he was a young quarterback whenever he would throw an interception he would go back to the huddle full of excuses regarding why he had made such an error, blaming other individuals or circumstances. Later on he learned that the best thing he could do for the confidence of the team was to say to his fellow players, "I messed up. So, lets go get a drink and rest on the side lines, then lets come back out and play football, and I promise to never throw an interception again".

Now as a military we are inevitably not going to make all the right decisions. We are going to make mistakes and mess up. But, we are at least making an effort and we are going to keep at it until we get it right. Now, many would spend their time pointing their fingers or blaming others for the mistakes made along the way, but at least we are engaged in a good cause making an effort. We are still in the game, actively trying to make a difference in everything we are doing. We aren't on the side lines, or at home wondering what needs to be done, or if the right thing was done, or how the game would be one way or the other.

Decisions were made and we believe they were the right ones for the most part. The game is far from over and we are still in it

For those that were wondering?

My dad is stable and I was able to take him home where he will probably be able to spend the rest of his days. The doctors don't give him any hope but he still has hope and continues to try. The prognosis for his colon cancer is not good, but I hope we can maintain some quality of life until it is time for him to go.

Love you Dad

My youngest son too

To my surprise, my youngest son Matthew took it upon himself to have his own toy drive at his high school to gather up toys and school supplies from all the kids and faculty. He did a great job in gathering up many boxes of donations for the children of Iraq. My hat goes off to you son, for your initiative. Way to go.

Well that is all for now.

Have a great day and keep those toys and school supplies coming in.

Chief Wiggles.

Where much is given much is expected, go out and do something.